12:15 PM: You know it’s been a crazy tournament when even the specter of a 16/1 upset (Western Kentucky/Kansas) gets overshadowed by a soccer game being played in the middle of a snowstorm. Still no buzzer-beater drama, though. But today? Today’s gonna be a different story. TODAY IS GOING TO BE AWESOME. And if it isn’t, then you can ask for your money back. First game up: VCU’s HAVOC defense vs. the high likelihood of a Michigan upset. By the way, I saw Anne Hathaway in HAVOC. She got naked in it, but, man, that didn’t even redeem the movie at all. Terrible, terrible movie.
12:45 PM: HAVOC!!! It’s only the first game of the day, but, damn, it’s already been a good start to the day (so far). Now, if we could just get a Wolverine to hilariously call a timeout without remembering that they don’t have any timeouts left…
1:12 PM: Anndddd not a good start to the day anymore. I thought we left the hot potatoes game back in kindergarten, VCU. Any more of this and I’m gonna have to open up a bottle of wine, curl up under the desk and weep to myself while muttering “snow soccer… snow soccer…”.
1:37 PM: Yeah, I might as well open up that bottle of wine now. Not even a Wolverine player hilariously calling a non-existent timeout is going to save you now, VCU.
1:59 PM: This is the world we’re apparently leaving to our children in the future: The Internet—the global system of interconnected networks that’s become an increasingly central means of commerce and communication capable of bringing far-flung civilizations together—reached its apex this week, after a man claiming to be the fiancé of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic character Twilight Sparkle contacted a user of online community DeviantArt to demand he stop drawing sexual pictures of his imaginary pony-bride.
2:47 PM: Buffalo wings baking in the oven. Wine chilling in the fridge. March Madness and golf on TV. BEST DAY EVER. (Not really. Not after the horror show that was the AV Club article about that guy.)
3:42 PM: March Madness is now officially March Boredom. (At least for the moment.)
4:24 PM: This is the current state of March Madness 2013: Tiger Woods at Bay Hill >>>> March Madness.
5:45 PM: JOHNNY FOOTBALL! MARSHALL BASKETBALL! http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/ncaaf-dr-saturday/johnny-manziel-offers-encouragement-ole-miss-basketball-bad-210850694–ncaaf.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter
/Twitter explodes /the world explodes /the universe explodes
7:19 PM: March Madness? More like March Blowout. EVERY MAN AND WOMAN FOR HIMSELF/HERSELF! *starts drinking heavily, picks out a movie to watch*
8:48 PM: BEST DANCE PARTY EVER. http://www.sbnation.com/2013/3/23/4140374/arizona-band-member-dance-gif
(I’m so sorry. I’M RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO BLOG ABOUT, OKAY?!)